While reading David Burns’ book “Mood Therapy. A Clinically Proven Way to Overcome Depression Without Pills,” in which I found a lot of interesting things and recommend reading, his views on perfectionism resonated with me.

Why did I pay attention to this, because I noticed in coaching sessions that it is inherent in many people. And at first it was not completely noticeable at first glance.
According to my observations, most people, when asked if they are perfectionists, answer that they feel somewhere in the middle, that is, as if they are perfectionists, but not in its extreme manifestation, so to speak. That is, both yes and no.

Perfectionism has its advantages – it protects you. It can protect you from criticism, the risk of failure or disapproval.

This creates difficulties in life, because there is a desire to do everything right at the highest level and a desire to achieve great results.
In general, the problem is not in the desire for the effectiveness of the actions performed, but in the standards by which you try to measure them. Although you try to force yourself to move quickly, your satisfaction is very small. After all, as soon as you achieve one goal, it is quickly replaced by another, more distant one, thus you will not be rewarded for reaching the “top of the mountain”. Therefore, you begin to wonder why you never receive the expected reward for all your efforts. Life becomes joyless and full of routine, which only tires you.

And what is interesting, this book describes that it is fear that drives people in an exaggerated desire for perfection. This fear also provokes the desire to control and pedantry. At the moments when a perfectionist tries to stop doing what he is doing, he begins to be overcome by strong anxiety, which can even develop into horror.

The author also describes that if you are a perfectionist, then you are probably also a real procrastinator, because you demand that everything be done properly.

To show the irrationality of striving to be a perfectionist, I will give an example.
If you were given points for a written article, then it is better to write 10 imperfect articles and get 80 points (out of 100 points) for each, than one perfect one and get 100 points for it. After all, in the first option, you will clearly win.

Therefore, the book summarizes that if you want to be unhappy, then you can hold on to your perfectionism and procrastination with all your might.

However, there is a way out and options for how to fight this and try to overcome it.

WHAT, IN THE AUTHOR’S OPINION, IS WORTH DOING?

A particularly effective way to overcome perfectionism is to learn to make mistakes.
When you plan your day in the morning, determine how much time you want to allocate to a particular task or activity and stop doing it at a certain time.
Learn to set realistic, flexible, adequate standards. That is, enjoy the process and the experience you get more, rather than focusing only on the result.
Another effective way to combat perfectionism is to expose it. If you are nervous or feel that you do not know how to handle a situation, share it with people. Tell them what you think you are doing badly instead of keeping it to yourself.
Ask people how you can improve the situation and if they turn away from you because you are not perfect, let them do it and let it go.

If you doubt how others will treat something, ask if they will treat you worse if you make a mistake.

Besides, you can always come to a coach to talk about it and maybe FIND NEW SENSES FOR YOURSELF.

Also write in the comments what you think can be beneficial for you procrastination and perfectionism?